The Land of Fiction
by Miss.gonnastabyou
Summary: There are three things you should know about life here; first, stay out of Happiness, second, a pair of goggles can always come in handy, and last, never EVER sit on a purple spotted mushroom under an oak tree after noon. Just don't. Rated for language.
1. Things you should know

A/N: Please try to read this story with an open mind, sometimes my madness takes a bit of interpretation. :D

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Welcome to the Land of Fiction.

There are three things you should know about life here; first, stay out of Happiness, second, a pair of goggles can always come in handy, and last, never EVER sit on a purple spotted mushroom under an oak tree after noon. Just don't.

It's good to know the geography of Fiction, as well as the politics, because you never know when you might be pulled into something nasty.

There are three countries within Fiction; FanFiction, ActualFiction and Happiness. In FanFiction, the characters have free will, and their fanfic authors have freedom to explore the Fandoms, but in ActualFiction, the characters must do exactly as the author of the Fandom wrote. For example, Harry Potter in FanFiction might hook up with Hermione, but Harry Potter in ActualFiction has to go out with Ginny and end out marrying her and having kids.

We'll get to Happiness later.

Inside FanFiction, the two territories are Fanon and Canon.

Canon is revolting, no, really, it's disgusting. They're revolting because they do not want to be under the FanFiction rule, and they believe that they belong out there with the original characters in ActualFiction. And by 'original characters' I mean the first version of that character, not an 'OC' which is a MarySue before it's been mutated and deformed.

Still with us? Good.

While Canon are having their own gross, I mean, revolting problem, Fanon are just recovering from a civil war. The result of which it is now separated into the cities of Fluff, Slash, Crack and Song, as opposed to where they used to be able to roam free. According to a survey taken by local newspapers a few months after the war, 83% of the population of Fanon are unhappy with the current political situation.

Different Fandoms exist throughout the lands of Fiction, the current dominant Fandoms include Naruto, Twilight and, of course, Harry Potter. Their characters are widespread due to the amount of popularity each has.

Understanding? It is a lot to take in.

Canon is known for its strict laws. They are sticking with official source material only, and will kill on sight a Fanon character inside their border. They say they have a 'reputation to uphold'.

One of Canon's recent laws passed has been the ban on Name Smooshing, when characters started to meld, creating one creature with the mixed personalities of both. To reverse this involved a lengthy operation and a lot of money in insurance, and when a black market started up, the Canon authorities had to take control.

Fanon didn't follow this example and still allows Name Smooshing, to a certain extent. A license is now required.

The infamous Snarry (SnapexHarry) is still locked in the jails of Canon, because it is too powerful for extermination.

MarySues live in Happiness, the state right besides FanFiction, on the Fanon side. They used to be a part of it, but they broke off and made their own government when their numbers grew too large and they started interfering with Canon's borders.

Despite its cheerful name, Happiness is by far the most dangerous place in all Fiction.

RPF (real person fiction) is taboo in all part of Fiction, as it allows Real People in. It is seen as black magic and most people are afraid of it. Where MarySue's can channel the author into the story, the authors can never really be in Fiction. It should be noted that RPF includes celebrities, and historical figures.

The Real World is still seen as half myth, half truth, despite the general acceptance of the existence of Real People. It is yet to be scientifically proven to exist, but there have been stories of sightings going back to the beginning of Fiction history. For many Real World believers, the point is this: Where are the authors then? They must be somewhere, and they're not here in Fiction (we checked).

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Here's a link to the map I've drawn for this story, it's a bit confusing without it: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf (Ive had to stick spaces in there coz it wont let me put a link, so just pretend they aren't there and that theres a www at the start of it)


	2. Of discoveries and prophecies

A/N: Here we go then, this is how I'm starting it. The chapters wont always be this short.

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Far far away, something big was about to happen on an island off the coast of Actual Fiction.

It was a cold windy night, and the harsh ocean spray lashed the rocks of the small island. A man stumbled across those rocks, an unusual occurrence, as the island was completely uninhabited, and nothing stood on it but an old and disused lighthouse.

_As you can probably guess, this was all about to change._

The old man raised a hand to his eyes, shielding them from the whipping rain as he looked up at the last big hill he had to climb before the lighthouse. He was about to make his way over it, when something to it's side caught his eye. The rocks were crumbling down from something.

He frowned and ambled forward. He thought it must be another clan of escaped cavemen – but rounding the corner, he didn't see a mob of unwashed savages, but a large gaping hole.

He knelt by it, and peered into the pitch black.

Suddenly, lightning struck somewhere on the island behind him, and he saw something glinting in the depths of the hole. Some gut feeling compelled the man, not usually greedy, to reach in for that gleam.

He withdrew his hand, and it was covered in a silvery gloop.

"Sweet Authors above…" He swore as it dripped from his hand to be washed away by the rain.

It was metallic, almost opaque, but glittering rainbow specks could be seen.

It was the rare and expensive substance … Inspiration.

Lightning flashed again, and the old man's eyes shone with awe. The island… it was the perfect place for it, it must be filled with the stuff!

"Yes! YES!" He cried to the sky.

He rushed off.

Notes were sent, spies were delivered… No, wait, switch those. Anyway, by dawn the next day, the governments of both Canon and Fanon were in the know, but Actual Fiction… was completely unaware.

At the exact same moment that the light of Inspiration glowed on the gleeful face of the old man, the Oracle of Dolphin awoke. (Yes, it's Dolphin, a miss-spelt ancient manuscript gave Fiction it's own wise-beyond-all-years prophet.) The Oracle opened it's cracked and dusty mouth and whispered to a girl sitting at it's feet. She took quick notes of it's words in a pink and purple Barbie Fun Time (T) notebook.

**Code49: Changing the world.** She wrote.  
**Two heroes, race to (sparkledust?)**  
**Distant lands, will require (short, precious) object to achieve**  
**Trials, terror, lipstick**  
**Beware of purple spotted mushrooms**  
**Change the history of Fiction forever.**

The dusty Oracle's whisperings slowed, and the girl sat back and reviewed her notes.

She sighed. "Shit."

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To be continued: What the hell is going on? To find out - read the next chapter!

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Link to the map: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf (Ive had to stick spaces in there coz it wont let me put a link, so just pretend they aren't there and that theres a www at the start of it)


	3. With Commanders and Assistants

A/N: Now is when we get down to explaining some things. Thanks for hanging on this far, I promise it's working up to be awesome from here! XD

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The girl from the temple was standing on the balcony of the Oracle's temple, looking down the side of the mountain. In the distance she could see the smog drifting up from the City of Crack. Headquarters was much closer, but it was obscured by the dense forest at the bottom of the slope.

Her name was Nella O'Regan, and she worked for a branch of the Fanon Government secret service. A top agent with particular specialties in undercover missions and Temple work. Although, she _was_ strictly against working for the Temple, but they put her there because she would find some way to take control anywhere else. At least here she was stopped by ancient promises and mystical mystics.

A man walked over to her. He was well built, strong, and wearing a classic USA marine's outfit.

"Commander Norris." She gave the correct respectful greeting, but there was no respect in her tone or stance. He didn't react to it though, just looked out at the view.

After a moment or two, he held up the notes she made of the prophecy. "I'd like to go over this, if that's alright with you."

"I know some of its unclear. Usually I'm great at the translations, but this one was confusing. Like, here," She pointed to a line. "She used a funny conjugation of short and _precious_? It's something you can hold in your hand, I know that, but I can't tell you anything else."

"Right, and mushrooms?"

"Oh, She always mentions mushrooms at some point, the old bat." He raised his eyebrows at her calling the Ancient and Holy Oracle of Dolphin an 'old bat'. She pretended not to notice.

"What is the meaning of the 'Sparkledust' line?" He asked.

"Translation from Backstreet-slang Ancient Greek to English isn't easy you know. As much as I can make out, it's some kind of… glorious, stream of special stuff."

Scratching at his stubbled chin, he muttered to himself. "It must be the Inspiration, it all fits…"

Her eyes snapped to him, and narrowed in sudden suspicion. "Come again?"

"The latest intelligence shows that Inspiration was found off the coast of Actual Fiction."

"And you just happened to forget to tell me this?" She asked sharply.

"Look, I know you hate it, but you have to understand: working on a need-to-know basis is for the protection of us all – "

Rolling her eyes, she fired off a series of questions.

"How much?"

"We're not sure, but the location is perfect for a large deposit, so we're going to assume it is."

"Who knows?"

"Actual Fiction is so far completely unsuspecting, but Canon caught on. Cause has been eliminated."

"And what does this mean for me?" She turned to face him, and he sighed.

"You realise it'll have to be you."

She didn't reply, but turned and walked back inside.

The Oracle, now awake and cheerful, was being attended to by the many Temple assistants. They were crowding around the woman as she sat on her throne, each holding out a plate of delicacies. Nella's lip curled at the sight of them. _God, I hate this place._

"Excuse me?" She called out, and when the Oracle caught sight of her, her mouth split into an irritatingly huge grin.

It really was quite amazing, the shocking difference that overcame the woman in whose body the spirit of Dolphin resided. When in a trance she was stiff and weak, almost deathly pale and shuddering – in Nella's opinion, thankfully quiet. But as soon as she was awake, she was back to her bustling, busybody self, pudgy face and surprisingly strong arms which could crush you in a hug.

"Ah! Nelly dear!" She cooed, and came hurtling across the room. Nella had to stop herself from stepping back from the force of happiness and cheer racing at her.

"You poor dear, that prophecy was an awful one, you'll be gone for ages, I'll be awfully lonely without you, and what am I going to do if I have another trance, oh I'll be just a mess –"

"Yeah, about that," Nella interrupted "are you sure it's _me _who has to take this quest? It only specified two heroes."

"Oh yes yes _yes, _of course it's you dear." The Oracle put on a face that was probably supposed to look sullen and serious, but really only gave the impression that she was trying to suffocate herself. "You will go on a mission that will change to ways of Fiction... Forever!"

"Ever…Ever…. Ever…." Came an echo. Nella looked over at one of the assistants with a look that said, _Really? _But the Oracle loved it.

"Good work Pooky dear." She praised him and he just about shat himself with happiness. He sat under the glares or the envious others. They were an odd species of elf, absolutely dedicated to the Temple and it's Oracle, and every year ten or so of them would come to 'be taught the ways.' Headquarters didn't know where they came from, but as they were fairly harmless, they didn't question it.

"You will have to watch yourself dear, you are after all only recently released." The Oracle warned Nella, pinching her cheek.

She snorted derisively. "No one's going to raise a fuss, I'd be surprised if anyone recognized me."

And with that, she left them, off to search for that second hero.

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To be continued: So we've been introduced to Nella – but she needs a partner!

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A/N: I appreciate every single review I get – I'll always reply, and if it's a signed review, I'll check out your stories too and review yours so we're even! :D

Link to the map: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf (it really helps to see the map)


	4. Briefing room 4A

A/N: I'm kind of realizing that this story is has potential to go on for ages and ages…  
Dedicated to Mia!

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Recap: Last chapter, we left Nella, who had just worked out from interpreting a prophecy that she is required to go on a mission to the elusive 'Inspiration'. But she needs a partner, where will she find one?

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_Down at Headquarters._

Nella looked at him. She just stared.

He was a bit on the scrawny side, tall with gangly knees. He had a rather splotchy face with a fearful and bewildered expression . He was the cliché teenage boy all over.

This was the kid they'd chosen to accompany her.

Usually she was the epitome of business, rushing around, never a dull moment. She always up to some scheme or another. But for a moment, Nella could do nothing but blink at him in astonishment, her mouth slightly open.

Her mouth twitched, and she giggled. Then she started laughing. She was in hysterics, bent over on the floor, clutching at her sides. A little freaked out, and unsure of what to do, the boy tapped her on the shoulder.

"Are… are you okay? I-I don't really know why I'm here so…"

Her snorts abruptly stopped. "Holy Thesaurus, this isn't a dream."

She stood up, and dusted herself down. Looking at him critically now, she shook her head.

"No, this won't work. Not at all, where's Norris?" She yelled the last, walking away again.

"Uh, sorry?" He called to her retreating back.

Left alone once more, the boy was getting nervous. They'd picked him up in a fancy government hummer, brought him down here, and just told him to wait. Standing in the corridor, he peered down the way the strange girl had just went, and heard yelling and a dull thud. Deciding to go look for help, he went in the opposite direction.

The first door he came to was labeled "Main Operations". Pushing it open, he came face to face with Fanon's most credited secret service.

This 'Headquarters' place really was amazing. The room he was in was like an enormous dome, computer screens covering the walls, and desks scattered all over the place. Through doorways and windows he could see yet more high-tech equipment. And the people themselves were a surprise to him. They were from every walk of life, a rainbow of species, and they were everywhere. Each had a headset and microphone, and they were talking into them, calling orders at other people, the noise was

Looking for someone who seemed important but not too busy, the boy walked up to a man with a huge bushy beard.

"Uh, excuse me-" He tapped on the mans shoulder, and jumped back in shock when he saw his face.

"Yes, what is it? I'm right in the middle of this you know." The man's beard was made of seaweed. Weird.

"I'm Kenneth… Kenneth Towler, from Hogwarts."

"Oh yes, you." The man said, looking down and checking his name off a clipboard Kenneth hadn't noticed before. "You should be in… briefing room 4A right now."

"Okay, but I don't know how to get there-"

"Follow the red line." The man bustled away again.

_The red line, what in Merlin__…__? _Kenneth thought. Scratching his head, feeling lost and confused, he looked to the roof. Which turned out to be the right thing to do, as he noticed different coloured lines stretching away in all directions.

Following the red one brought him to a small and slightly intimidating gray room. It only contained two chairs and a desk.

"Ah, Kenneth, there you are." He yelped at the sudden voice behind him, and turned to see… nothing?

"Down here hot stuff."

Grinning up at him was a woman, she was wearing a suit, had a suitcase and was about the height of Kenneth's knee.

"Oh… hello. I'm Kenneth Towers, from Hogwarts?" He tried once again.

"Wow, so you're the real deal then? I haven't read your file yet, so this is news to me! What's Hogwarts REALLY like? I mean, I've only ever seen a fan-version – I went to Hogwarts 7.4 once." She chattered away, sitting down and pulling some papers out of a folder.

Sitting down with her, Kenneth muttered. "It's alright, I guess."

"Okay, so, I've got to get you briefed. Kenneth Towler, you have been selected by the Fanon Government's Secret Service branch to accompany an agent on a mission classed purple."

She passed over a little booklet, a mobile phone, and a set of keys.

"We've made you a passport, that is valid for all states besides Happiness, and since you're pretty much completely unknown, we've kept your real name."

"Charming." He muttered, looking down at a picture of himself he didn't remember getting taken.

"The keys give you access to the various emergency lockdown bases we have spread across Fiction. The phone allows contact to us, or Fanon government. Use it sparingly, we've had a few complaints."

She pulled out a map of Fiction and pointed.

"The mission is to make it to the small group of islands along the upper north west coast of Actual Fiction unscathed, evaluate the situation there and claim anything of value as Fanon property. You're looking for a deposit of the substance Inspiration. Any questions?"

He stared at her, a little bewildered. He shook his head a little. Her businesslike manner dropped and she leaned forward conspiratorially.

"Well, I have a question for YOU, is Dumbledore really gay? I heard there was a fuss after the Tournament…"

He laughed, felling at ease for the first time in a while. This woman obviously knew her stuff with organising missions and things, but she was fun and welcoming too.

"How do you expect me to know?" He joked, but the woman had gone stiff, he head down to her papers, not answering .

"Right then boy, have you been briefed yet?" The scary girl from before sat down besides the dwarf, who looked about ready to die at the close proximity. Looking from one to the other, Kenneth wondered what it was that made everyone fear this girl.

"Why do you call me boy? You can't be any older than me yourself." He asked, and the dwarfs eyes widened, and she stared at the haughty girl, waiting for her reaction.

Nella froze, looked up at him, and squinted.

"Do you know why you're here?" She asked, ignoring his question.

"Um, for this mission. But I don't know why ME exactly-"

"You are here, because the higher-ups have read your file and deemed you 'perfect for the job'. They come to this conclusion after researching in depth your character, your friends, family, and events in your life." She pursed her lips and tapped her pencil against them thoughtfully. "But under my authority what the computers say you'll be good at is not enough. If you are going to have my respect, or even have input into my decisions, you are going to have to work to prove yourself."

Kenneth's eyes widened. "YOU? You're the agent I'm going on the mission with?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes. "And I'll be stuck with you for longer than I thought. We'll have to detour to Happiness."

The tiny woman gasped. "But, Ma'am, no mission into the area has ever succeeded, and the risk of danger is huge! With all due respect, it'll be suicide!"

"With all due respect Agent, I advise you keep your opinions to yourself, and do as I say." Nella's icy tones made the dwarf shrink back. "If there was any other way, I'd gladly take it - I want to stay alive just as much as the next person. But the MarySues have something we'll need… and it can't hurt to do some checking up on them in the process."

Kenneth watched them, not understanding. Yes, he lived in Actual Fiction, was a citizen of Fiction, but he'd lived a sheltered life at Hogwarts. The most he knew about Fiction was that there were a few forests, a swamp, maybe a desert, and a river stretching across it all. There seemed a lot more politics to it all than he'd ever imagined.

"Get him briefed on MarySues." She told the other agent, and looking over at Kenneth, announced "I'll meet you in the weapons room in an hour."

She left, and the dwarf agent gave a huge sigh. "I'm so sorry."

"What?"

"You'll be spending three months with _that."_

_Merlin what did I agree to?_

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To be continued: What exactly are MarySues, and what danger will they be to Kenneth and Nella on their mission?

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A/N: I'll review your stories if you review mine!

Link to map: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf


	5. Topic:MarySues

A/N: Thankyou for thinking this is super awesome Mia, but really, if you were writing it with me it'd be loads better. And thankyou Marcus, big compliment there, if i had you as my editor, and mia co-writing, we could make millions yeah? XD

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Recap: Last chapter we met Kenneth Towler, a young man from Hogwarts, unsure of what he's doing at Headquarters. He has been chosen to accompany Nella on her mission, but he needs to be briefed on the dangers…

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**FANON GOVERNMENT**

**SECRET SERVICE - BRANCH 4A**  
**(Missions scout and claim / Attack and destroy)**

_MEMORIZE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION, DO NOT MAKE COPIES, DO NOT REMOVE FROM THE ROOM, IF TAKEN OUTTSIDE THE BUILDING, IT WILL EXPLODE AFTER A 5 SECOND WARNING BEEP_

TOPIC: Marysues

MarySues are now defined as the mutated and deformed state of a character, a transformation after which the character cannot function according to common sense, logic or practicalities, and are obsessed with their own 'perfection'.

A brief history-

The area of Happiness used to be farmland for Fanon. It was mostly inhabited by characters originally from the city of Fluff. It is unknown how the very first sue came into existence, but after the first few appeared, the balance was tipped, and Sue-dom spread like a virus. The symptoms were no recognized, as Fiction was at that time not advanced in science or medicine.

Citizens of Fiction view the Time of the Sue, now known as the First Wave of Sue-dom as a dark and horrifying part of it's history. Many were lost to the ways of the glitter and glam, and families still today are haunted by a sue-ish connection in their past.

The Second Wave came during the recovery of the first. Canon and Fanon governments had set up stations across FanFiction, where characters could go for care and safety. This failed as then, and still now, the exact symptoms aren't clear, and the transformation comes quite suddenly. ActualFiction cut itself off completely, establishing a hatred for FanFiction government that has only gotten worse over the years.  
Over a period of two weeks, hell broke loose as Canon's prime minister was falsely accused of Sue-dom, and a series of attempted assassinations had the nation in panic.

The MarySues established their own government, and sent messages out to ActualFiction and FanFiction stating what land they had claimed. Much is unknown about the current political situation of Happiness, and even less about it's leaders.

Today, governments have a strict control of cities, and although they're divided, they're stable. Things have been calm for a long time, and characters are starting to forget the dangers and are no longer taking precautions against the Sues. There have been no reported incidents as of yet, and the MarySues are staying quiet. But some conspiracy theorists say that the quiet wont last and that the MarySues are planning something big. Agent's missions into Happiness searching to confirm these theories have never succeeded. The agents either die, or a converted to Sue-dom.

Average physical description-

Hair colour is usually bright and some obscure colour, some that haven't been heard of for years, or some even made up. Height is either particularly tall (a model's build) or particularly short (a petite frame). Attire is drastically varying between Sues, although each has it's own 'style' which matches their attitude.

Attitude-

There are three levels of MarySue severity.

Basic, simple Sues, referred to as BimboSues, have little or no aspirations and are completely centered on their own appearance. They are easily manipulated, usually by other MarySues, it is feared that they could be used together as an army, controlled by the ruling Sues.

Sues with mid-level intelligence, some potential to be ring leaders but no apparent interest, are referred to as DitzySues. Not especially dangerous, but worth looking out for. Key defining feature: they are especially proud of their heritage.

Highly intelligent, deadly and twisted, the worst type of MarySue is the SuperSue. They control any other sues below them, and while they are excessively vain, they aren't so completely involved in their appearance and spend time plotting and scheming. Their ultimate aims are control, power, and absolute attention towards them.  
Some Supersues have even been known to be capable of acting like a lesser MarySue, of imitating the carelessness of a BimboSue, or the stubborn pride of a DitzySue.

Dangers-

Despite a BimboSues gullibility, or a DitzySues laziness, all sues are dangerous fighters, and all have the potential to harm, most to kill. There is no exact fighting technique, but the majority are known to use their oppositions emotional weaknesses to their own advantage. They are cruel, merciless and destructive.

How to fight-

The recent experiments of the renowned Doctor Who have established that MarySues are harmed by the reading of good literature. Some are even drastically injured simply by the book itself, without ever having seen or heard the actual words.  
There is no way to bring a MarySue back to the character it was, back to it's original state.

No other experiments have been carried out, as the Sues keep to themselves.

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To be continued: How will Kenneth take to this new information? What does this mean for him and Nella?

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A/N: Writing about MarySues in the middle of the night… is actually really creepy…

I'll give a review or two for every review I get!

Link to map: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf


	6. Deep dark forest, deep dark city

A/N: This story is fun to write, I'm loving it.

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Recap: Kenneth Towler and Nella O'Regan are the two chosen to go on the mission to claim the substance Inspiration – It's all the way across on the other side of Fiction, they have a long journey ahead of them.

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Leaves and twigs crunched underfoot as Kenneth trudged forward. Nella was up ahead, moving effortlessly through the trees despite the rather large backpack she was supporting. There was one on his back too, but he hardly knew what it contained; it had been handed to him right before they left.

Kenneth and Nella were walking through dense forest, having left HQ not long ago. Nothing had been said, and there was a rather dark atmosphere. It was morning, but still early enough that little light made its way through the gaps in the canopy, and the trees were so tall one couldn't help but feel insignificant. Kenneth hurried to catch up to Nella.

"I'm so glad to be rid of that place." She said, seeming to have brightened considerably since leaving the busy secret service base. She almost looked about to smile.

"Rid of it? But you work for them." From what he'd seen so far, Kenneth was starting to realise that I'd be a long time before he ever understood Nella.

Nella's mouth twisted, but there was no hatred in her eyes, as there might have been a few hours ago.

"Ah yes. I'm their lackey, their little pawn. But as soon as they've sent me out, I'm my own woman." She nodded to herself.

"Um." He said. "Um… there was something I wondered… The MarySues, how could they 'treat' them at those stations? Because there isn't a cure so…"

She snorted. "They make it sound all nice and happy in there didn't they. Those places weren't a safe haven for the ill, they were a bloody prison. Fanon government got it wrong, in all the chaos, people's dark sides started showing through. They would report their neighbours, their own family, have them put away. Everyone was suspicious. Because that's what MarySues do to you."

They continued, Nella fine with the silence, and Kenneth lost in thought.

"That's how life goes kid. It's harsh, and hard, and so, we're off to Crack to pick up some weapons."

That shocked him out of his thoughts. "What?"

She spun towards him.

"I'm warning you now, I'll do things how I think best. We're not following any field guide of theirs."

As she stared him down, he shifted uneasily, feeling the weight of one such guide they'd given him back in Headquarters.

He blinked, and she was off walking again. _**What**__ a scary woman,_ he thought.

"They say we gotta keep a low profile, sure," She called back at him. "But I want SOME means of defense."

"But how will you get them, without attracting attention?"

"Leave that to me."

"Why…" He trailed off, afraid to ask a personal question.

She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. "Spit it out." She said in a rather patronizing way.

"Why do you have to be extra careful of being recognized? I overheard a few of the agents talking… they said that you could be in big trouble, ah, again?"

"Ah yes. That's because I've only recently been released from jail."

He blinked. Before he could react, she continued.

"I stole the cookies from the cookie jar. Have you ever heard Snow White was poisoned?"

He hadn't, but he nodded anyway.

"That was my work. Poisoned cookies, I'm quite proud. Problem is, Canon connected her death to the stolen cookies, and put me away."

He didn't ask many questions after that.

They walked most of the day, and unless she was insulting the government and the secret service, or telling him how worthless he was, she stayed pretty quiet.

They spied the high walls that surround the City of Crack in the early evening. It was already getting dark, and Kenneth found himself looking around fearfully as the shadows stretched, making the huge gates look ominous and creepy. Nella walked on, sure and confident.

Inside the gate, and as they were making their way along the first few streets, Kenneth was getting his first impressions of the city. There wasn't much to say besides that it was dodgy. The streets were small and the houses bunched together – everything was in poor condition and unidentified substances sloshed around in the gutters. The few people who were around this time of night were crafty types who stayed to the shadows, or drunks.

Nella told him it was just the area; that in the nicer parts, in morning, Crack could be quite a nice town. Kenneth sure hoped so, if they had to stay the night.

"The thing is, it's close to the border of Canon, also close to it's jail. So it gets… all types."

"oh Merlin, near a jail?"

"Yeah, so any runaways are likely to be here, if anywhere."

He didn't have a chance to question her sanity, as she swerved off the street and towards a small, dimly lit beerhouse. The noise of music and drunken singing wafted past them, and they approached the two door guards.

"Evening boys, (says something random)"

In moments they were shooed inside, and sitting at a bar with two jugs in front of them.

"What just happened?" Kenneth asked, his eyes watering a little at the amount of smoke coming from the pipe of the man next to him.

"We are in one of the most well known pubs in all of Fanon, maybe even Fiction. There isn't a criminal or crook who didn't start out here." There was a gleam in her eye, and as she spoke with the barman, Kenneth could see, she was in her element.

Without thinking, he took a sip of his drink, and choked.

"What the hell are we even drinking?"

She looked back at him. "Oh, I forgot, are you legal?"

"You ask me that now?" He was flushed, and awkward, not at all comfortable in the rowdy environment.

"Whatever, drink up, we gotta meet some guy in ten mins."

"Wait, how do you know?"

She moved closer to him so no one would hear, but Kenneth didn't know why, she seemed to be talking about random things.

"See that line of liqueur bottles, there are two red ones next to each other, breaking the pattern of red-blue-green. It's not normally like that."

"But what does that-"

"And see that empty table by the dukebox? Strange that it's empty in a busy pub like this isn't it? And it has five chairs at it rather than the usual three. Lastly Mike, the barman, isn't wearing his name tag. All this leads me to suggest, that we have been left a coded message."

He frowned, the empty table was suspicious, he'd admit that, but the rest? She could have been making it all up!

"So, wait, hold on, who are we meeting?"

"Come on, it's a few blocks away, we better head off." She downed her drink in one, not at all fussed about how strong it was.

She bustled him out the door, not answering his questions clearly, and once they were back out of the glow of the pubs lights, he stopped.

"Hay, no, wait. We can't keep going on like this."

She frowned at him. "Like what? Nothings gone wrong, it's all smooth, we're going good. Whats the problem pommy-boy?"

"You wont tell me anything until the last minute! I'm just being dragged along, not knowing whats happening! I'm more likely to ruin things, cause I don't understand, so would you just slow down one minute, and tell me who we're going to see!"

"Well well well, it does seem like you have a tongue in your head boy, at least when it comes to the scary stuff. You haven't said 'um' or 'ah' since we got here."

She rummaged around in her bags, and his eyes widened when she pulled out a short knife.

"Okay I'll tell you a little more from now on. We're going to go see one of my old friends…

Jack the Ripper."

* * *

To be continued: Who is Jack the Ripper really and how does Nella know him? Why are they going to see him? FIND OUT neeeext chapter!

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A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUN! Yeah, my characters are all over the place. But don't you just love the City of Crack? Dodgy backstreet places are so much fun...

Review? I'll love you forever?

Link to map:pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf


	7. Questionable Exchanges?

Recap: When we left Nella and Kenneth, they had entered the City of Crack, and are on their way to see, of all people, Jack the Ripper, who is apparently an old friend of Nella's.

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"Jack and I are… old acquaintances." Nella said softly, leading Kenneth to a corner.

He opened his mouth to ask a question, but Nella gestured for him to stay silent with her finger on her lips. She pushed him into the shadows of the nearest building and pressed herself against the wall, her eyes sharp. Bewildered, but wary, Kenneth complied, glancing around fearfully.

Nella listened. But she stayed still and quiet for so long, Kenneth started to wonder what they were waiting for. There didn't seem to be any immediate danger; to him, the street they were in was completely safe, if fact, there didn't seem to be anyone around at all. Everything was silent.

He stepped forward, touching her shoulder to ask what they were waiting for, but his foot slipped on some broken pavement. There was the crunch of gravel, the slap of his hand searching for purchase on the wall, and a flurry of cloth as Nella spun to face him, outrage on her face.

There was a crash from above and Nella shoved him out of the way as someone jumped from the roof above them and came at them with double swords.

All Kenneth could do was stagger back, and watch with wide eyes as Nella met the cloaked, black-clad attacker halfway.

She moved in close and avoided the blades, snatching his wrists and giving a savage twist. His left blade dropped and clattered to the ground, but the attacker was quick to swing around again with both hands grasping the handle of the remaining blade.

Nella rolled, pulling out a small knife from her pant leg in the process. This time, when she ducked in close again, she gave his wrist a quick slice, and he dropped the sword, Nella succeeding in disarming him. Before he could throw a punch, she had crushed the bones in his left foot with her heel and wrapped his arm around in a lock.

The world settled back to normal speed, and Kenneth got to his feet, having not remembered falling. Nella released their attacker, who promptly ran off down the street. She looked at Kenneth, who was gazing at her in awe.

"You. Idiot."

"I didn't know what was happening! This is why you have to tell me things! Everything was quiet anyway!" He protested.

"Maybe a little… too quiet?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "Situation sound familiar?"

"Oh."

"It doesn't matter anyway – that was sloppy work. Amateur thief." She grinned.

Kenneth shifted awkwardly. He didn't want to compliment her, even though he was still in a state of amazement at her fighting skill, he didn't want her cocky, holding even more over his head. But he didn't have to; she was as smug as ever without one word of a compliment from him.

Nella hurried them on, not about to let a measly attack deter them. They ducked into an apparently empty townhouse. By all appearances it was unoccupied. Empty. But they moved inside, through the long, narrow hall, until they could see light coming from one of the back rooms.

It wasn't until they were right at the door, just about to enter when it came to Kenneth, they were about to meet Jack... the Ripper.

Nella pushed the door open, and Kenneth saw the infamous murderer of Victorian London.

Or was he?

The first thing Kenneth noticed was….well, the man's stomach. It was… round. And large. Actually, 'Jack the Ripper' gave off a sense of jovial-old-uncle.

As Nella and Jack exchanged a hearty, welcoming hello, Kenneth tried to get his mind around the man's street-name. It was obviously supposed to inspire fear amongst those of his customers who hadn't seen him face to face. And it had worked – Kenneth _had _been in fear, before meeting him.

"Jack, this is my partner, Simon." Nella introduced Kenneth with a false name, her smile not altering in the slightest, showing no hesitation as she lied to the arms dealer.

"Ah, Lucy, your standard in partners is degrading." Jack said slyly.

They both laughed, sitting down on either side of a small wooden desk, and went into a business-like discussion. Kenneth stood silently by the door, his ears burning. He wanted to stay back and observe, to maybe understand what was going on this time.

But they were well into a conversation about foam swords, of all things. Kenneth, once again, was confused. Seeming to sense this, Nella turned back to him.

"Foam swords are deadly to all but the most powerful of Fiction citizens." She explained.

"The slightest touch of the blade can kill you." Jack added, sitting back, his hands resting on his large belly. They turned back to each other, but Kenneth spoke up.

"Why make them into the shape of a sword then? If one touch can kill?"

They both turned to glare at him for a moment.

"As much as i… love foam swords, we need something that will injure, no kill." Nella asked Jack.

"As yes, you are undercover once more? After…?" He trailed off with a questioning glance.

She gave him a slightly feral grin. "You know I can't give away any details, Jack."

He nodded with a dismissive hand movement. "Even so, good work on the cookie deal, admirable use of poisons."

They laughed and touched knuckles.

Kenneth and Nella left the townhouse, each with a poison tipped knife and a bundle of packets which were, as far as Kenneth understood it, some kind of bomb when treated correctly. He let Nella carry them.

Walking down the dark streets once again, Kenneth questioned Nella's history with Jack.

"You seemed quite chummy back there." He commented.

"I've known Jack for a long time, but don't think it's a friendship." Nella said. "As in control as he thinks he is, his spies are low grade. He represents no true threat." She looked around and glanced at her watch. "We're staying at a safe-house a few blocks from here, come on."

Kenneth frowned as they continued. "Are all the agents of Fanon secret service this heartless, or are you a special case?" The young man's heart instantly sped up as soon as he realized what he had said, but to his relief Nella just smirked to herself.

"You used fake names." He continued.

"The man's seen my face." Nella crossed her arms. "Do you know how many people would kill to know what I actually look like? He's lucky to have _that_, and he's smart enough not to expect anything more."

"So, wait, how much does he know about you? I mean he implied –"

"He thinks I work for a Canon agency undercover here in Fanon. Look, just leave it, boy, you don't want to know too much. Or you'll become a target."

The conversation obviously ended, Kenneth was quiet.

They went down a back alley – carefully – and stopped at a respectable looking house. Nella got her keys out.

"This is a little hide-e-hole set up by our agents. Since the city is so close to Headquarters, they frequent this place quite often."

They went inside and turned on the lights. The furniture was bad quality, and the sheets rather holey, but it was decent enough, Kenneth supposed. As the far as this area of the city went, anyway. It had only a dusty single bed and a couch.

They looked at each other, and the decision for sleeping arrangements was made in a second.

"This is the best we'll have for a while, so enjoy your last night of luxury." He flinched at her sarcasm, dropping his pack on the rickety couch.

Nella took off her jacket, and Kenneth looked across at her. He noticed her light material pants, and remembered her pulling her knife out of one of the legs.

Seeing his look, she sat down on the bed and stuck her leg out, showing him a small cut in the cloth.

"It allows me to slip my hand in and take a knife out from a strap on my calf."

He blinked. "That's a bit… ruthless. Is it really necessary?"

She gave a short laugh. "Do you not remember our attacker? There are people like that everywhere kid, you better get used to it. There's plenty more ahead for us."

Not exactly a nice thought to have before dropping off to sleep.

* * *

To be continued: On their way to see Jack, Nella and Kenneth were attacked, and Nella showed an impressive skill in fighting – How come she is such a veteran of these missions, what's so special about her?  
And with Kenneth experiencing his first taste of city life – and the dangers involved – how will he cope with the rest of the mission?

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A/N: Sorry if that chap was confusing, I might re-write it later – especially with this story, its sometimes difficult to translate the ideas from my brain onto paper :D

Link to map: pango22 . deviantart . com/gallery/#/d2getzf


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